So last night it was my first time going to a South game. It was fun i guess i really didnt watch the game i was walking around with Destany the whole time and not paying attention to the game at all so i guess its all good. Saw a bunch of people i havent seen in a while. Destany Spent the night. Theres a lot going on right now. So many emotions all rolle into one. All stirring inside me. Theres a lot i want that cant have. Theres a lot i want but not sure i really want it all. Im not sure what to do or think still. I just dont know any more. Theres only a few things im certain of. All the rest is just a big question mark and sort of a blur. I guess ill figure out someday but im ready for that day to come now. Sigh. Time takes way to dangum long. It needs to hurry up and be Thanksgiving, Christams, and March. Thats really the only things im looking forward to. Family and my baby. The only things that keep me going and motivated to stay on this earth and to fight the deep depression that is trying to set into me. Its really hard to fight it somethimes. But i always have my family and my baby boy to get me out of it and into a happy mood again. I love them so much. I want a girl. I want an Emily Michelle. I want Jack. I want a good man. I want everything. Who knows when ill get them. Only god knows. I juat hope that maybe someday soon i will have them. well two out of the three :)
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